I am a mother, a grandmother and a contemporary realist painter currently living in Montana. I was encouraged to be an artist when I was younger due to some sad events in my life. Through this experience I started to learn and understand how much of an impact being an artist and the art world in general could have on a person if given a chance. Later, I wanted to be a seascape painter and went to school where I received my Associates in Fine Art/Humanities (2007) and have been able to continue my artistic education through books, the internet and personal experiences. Today I do not just paint the ocean but I paint anything that inspires me. Through my artwork, I want to encourage happy thoughts, happy memories and positive perspectives in order to stimulate a happy heart within my viewer whether it be from a nature scene to something as simple as a favorite coffee cup. - Frankie Stockman 2021Please continue down for more information, interviews with artists and some painting tutorial and ideas! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I will write more tonight!
So what gave me my headache was when I got home I found out that someone has given my daughter an iPod touch! Just given to her because she got something better? She swears it was her good friend Abbi whoooo she just told me the other day they are not really friends anymore. Now why would a girl who is not really friends with her anymore just give her an iPod touch because she has something else now? Instant headache! I need to look more into this.... Ryley is not a bad kid so I do not know what to think just yet...
Also my head hurts because Shane just "HAD" to tell me about the couple who murdered their two children! Just had to! I told him I did not want to hear it. Then they all started to tell me. Of course.. my heart tore into pieces and I cried. Just like I am going to do again right now. How the hell could you do that to a baby!? At this point I can not even pray for the poor little ones because they are already dead! And you know this makes me so freakn sad to say but I am glad they are no longer suffering! Now those monsters can not put their evil hands on them ever again! Life really sucks sometimes ya know. :( Every day I appreciate my family and my little ones.
Geesh.. tonight is just horrible for me because of this news that I was given. I need to snap out of it now. Another thing I guess that is bothering me is that I am not painting these days. I feel like I have nothing to offer the family sometimes because I sit at home all the time. I have no space to paint. I have no art room or anything. I just paint in the kitchen and then all my stuff sits out. If you are an artist then you know how messy that is. I feel overwhelmed by the mess after a day or so. So I just put everything away and that is where it stays. Not even drawing for some reason... I think about it.. just do not do it. So tonight I am trying to get my room all cleaned up and nice so that tomorrow I do not feel overwhelmed. I want to draw.
As you can see tonight is not the greatest for me. Sorry to you who is reading this. I am just having a bad night. But I didn't want to not write because then the blog goes stale right? :)
Because I do not know what to blog about tonight - I will share my weird dream with you.
I dreamt that I was driving along some road that I know I have seen in a lot of my dreams. Me and my children are in the car. I see ahead of me a car getting ready to get into an accident (its as if I could tell the future). I told my daughter to call 911 because this car in front of us was about to wreck. As I said this the car slammed into the side of a mountain and started to spin out of control. Then for some reason I kept seeing what I can only explain as a replay over and over as the car hits the mountain then spins. I was still driving but I could not see what was in front of me anymore! It was almost like a video game when you are playing those racing games and the car crashes and they show the replay over and over! It started to frustrate me because we were on a mountain road and I could not see. I told my daughter that we were okay because I could still feel us on the road.. then as I said that.. I felt my car go air born and I knew.. we went over the cliff. I still could not see though! Just the other car crashing.. My thinking was this.. "okay. We are off the road and about to die. I was scared but at the same time I was very calm and thought ... okay.. we can do this! Hold on kids" and then I decided that I did not want this dream anymore.. and it changed. It was so weird.
Since I was a little girl I have had nightmares. I have tried very hard my whole life to understand them so that I can be the boss of that world. When I was a kid I learned to fly. I could fly so high.. Then as I grew up I could not dream like that. I could also fight off the monsters (actually its always demons) with magic. I was like a wizard with magic in my hands. Not anymore! I have had dreams where I look in the mirror and see a whole other person! So sometimes now I practice flying in my dreams again. I imagine myself on an ocean cliff... and I slowly start walking off the edge but I do not look down. I do not pay attention to what I am doing .. and just what I am feeling.. I start to walk but then I notice I am doing it and I start to fall. I do not fall fast anymore! I hate that feeling in my stomach. But I start to fall slow.. and I have to "regroup" and start over. Its working.. Slowly. I will fly again! And I will fly over the ocean and touch the waves with my finger tips as I go by...
And with that I must go to sleep.. I am going to get up and go to the gym in the morning! I am doing so well. I want really badly though to go and get one of those German Gingerbread cookies before I go to sleep! I can't help it.. they are SO GOOD.
I am working on a crocheted blanket for my grandmother. She is very special to me. I can not tell you how much I love her.
So anyways! Its been a couple of days since I have written. So what can I talk about tonight? Besides the fact that I am tired? Its 1am. (yawn) Excuse me... sorry... I have a really pretty zit on the corner of my lip and it hurts to yawn. I always thought that when I became an adult I would never get another zit! I was wrong!
I have hooked myself up with my own little art site. Not really "my own". I can not do much with it. Not sure if I want to right now anyways so its probably for the best! ;) I am really feeling lazy. Besides.. when I get my own "space" then that is when the magic will happen! My oldest daughter is supposed to move out soon to go to college and I am not sure if I want to give her room to my little girl (who may be afraid to sleep alone) or keep it for myself. I would love to have an art space.. ohhhh baby.. .to have my own space!
Right now... all I know is I am so dang thankful for my life! Goodnight everyone! :)
While I was cleaning I started to think about some stuff. Of course "art" was on that list of thoughts. There is a classic question that is always asked.. "why are you an artist" Sometimes (to be honest) the answers seem so over dramatic to me and I think its all rehearsed. Its almost like the weirder your answer the better. I do not focus on my "pain" nor anything like that. I just pick out things that I like to see and that are attractive to me and I do what I can to paint it. In fact I do not want to do anything when I am feeling down or uncomfortable. When I am in that state I am too busy thinking of ways to get out of it and art work is always the least fun.
So anyway... I am afraid I am getting close to getting off track...So I think there are .. um. three reasons why I am an artist...
1. The struggle and self gratification.
2. I love art. It makes me cry when I see a painting that is so pretty and so emotional. Especially when I know the story behind the art work. If I had tons of money I would be a very important art collector.
3. I want to make you cry and make you a lover of art.
Now I hope those are not over dramatic! They may be and I am just a jerk for calling others that. However I think that is the truth. That was my intention when I first started out and I seem to have forgotten because I got caught up in all the politics of everything. Did I mention how much I do not like politics? So with this.. The next time I pick up an art tool - I can relax.. because I remember why I got on this ride.
Till Next Time....
Last night one of my kittens fell from the landing down into the entry way. Scared me very badly. She is okay. She is a little bitchy this morning so she is probably sore. But I know she will be alright. She is already running around and chasing after her sister.
Today I should be going to the gym but I think I am going to stay home and clean the house a bit. I have missed my period so I think its from going to the gym. My body needs a rest. :) Its okay. I have been a good girl the last couple of days. :)
I did not do any drawing last night. My oldest daughter ended up with a UTI and we were dealing with that and also I started making Christmas gifts for all the grandma's in my life. Maybe - if I can get the house work done I can start on some art work. I usually can not do much drawing or painting unless the house is clean. I know it probably makes no sense. I can sit and crochet while the house is TORE UP but not draw or paint. :) Okay.. I am going now. Gotta take a shower to start off my day!
Its really pretty this morning. Its about 8:30. The sky looks like what I call a "snow sky". The sun is hiding and it looks very cold outside. I know I have to go to the store but I do not want to! I really can not stand it that wal mart has such a hold on me. Every single day sometimes! Always wal mart! If I do not go then I will carry that weight around on my shoulders all day that I should go and its not that big of a deal. I just do not want to go and be around the other one million victims of wal mart. Its chaos in that store. I am always in such a hurry to get out that I end up forgetting something. Is it just me?
I do love the mornings however (as I look out my huge window and take a deep breath). I need to go and make the sprouts some breakfast and I will make my hunny some coffee. I know he will appreciate it. While I am at it... I will make myself some tea! Sounds like a plan!
I got this quote off of twitter. You have no idea how important this one is to me. I try to tell my kids this EVERY day. I believe if I say it enough times... they will eventually hear me.
This weekend has been kinda long. I never want to complain nor sound negative. So I will not say it has been a "bad" weekend so far. Just kinda long. I think that after the kids go to bed I am going to set myself up with some earphones.. and a stick of charcoal and paper. I have been thinking that I have allowed money to get in the way of my "creative" side. All I can think about is "how am I going to make money". The most ridiculous part about it is I am choosing to do it in a way that makes me unhappy. Lets take Avon as an example... When I make a sell (and that is not very often) I do not feel as if I have accomplished anything. When I make a scarf and think of someone actually buying one (luckily they never do) I immediately worry about me having to make another one to sell. When I paint or draw something that I really love, I feel as if I have accomplished something and grown as an artist. Then I hang it on the wall and I see it constantly and feel that accomplishment all over again.
I think I have outgrown Facebook.
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