When I first started my art fan page on facebook and
even this blog I couldn’t wait to see how many likes or followers I received and
how fast I could get them. I had seen others and their Fanpages and blogs. They
had hundreds and thousands of followers and likes. I knew that I was going to
get them too! It didn’t really work out that way. I only have 66 followers on
my blog and under 200 on my Fan page. I have had the blog for a couple of years
and the fan page for maybe one.
After a while I would come on line and feel like I practically
had to beg for people to like or follow for lack of interaction or recognition.
Follow for a follow? Like me for a like? It seemed like that was the way that
it should be. That is how everyone else was doing it and it worked for them!
Right? Easy enough. So I did it. Nothing really came of it. I couldn’t even get
those! It made me feel like I was no one again. My person wasn’t important or ‘good
enough’ for the world again. I really did think that social networking would
make me for once feel like a star! In reality it only made me feel like no was
interested in again. Actually it made me feel worse. I was in cyber space where
there are millions of people. But I still could not grab their attention.
Then I realized that it is just like before all over
again. I am stripping myself of my person and trying to be something I am not
once again. I am putting up with other peoples junk so that I can be noticed. Like for a like. What if I don’t like what you
are doing? Follow for a follow? Maybe the blog bores me because we do not share
the same issues. I still have to pretend like I do just so that they will
pretend that they are interested in me? Clearly they are not by the fact that
they never even once liked my posts or read my blog entries. They never comment
or even type hi onto to my wall.
I have to ask myself, is it worth it? This time I will
not take years to figure this out. This time I am going to stop it now.
I am not a business trying to sell my product. I refuse
to believe that anymore or hear that from other people. I am a human who
creates art work. I am a human who paints for her sanity. I love my art work.
It makes me who I am. It keeps me where I need to be. Not anyone else. It makes
me a devoted mother and wife and a thoughtful person. I am also fully aware
that it is a gift from God. So why do I need to worry about the amount of ‘likes’
or ‘followers’ that I have? I shouldn’t.
I am going to decide that I don’t. I also know that it
is going to be easier said than done but I am going to still try. It’s my life
and no one else’s. I have to be the one to maintain it. Not anyone else. I have
been fighting for a long time to win the approval of Frankie to allow
the internet to set me back again. I have come too far.
No more likes for a like. No more follows for a follow.
This may sound like I am over thinking things but I do
think that all the social interacting on the internet has really done a number
on us all in many more ways than this.
This has happen before - How social networking makes you feel
This has happen before - How social networking makes you feel
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